Monday, October 26


Back to one the greatest places on earth Terrace

Details to follow..

Tomorrow I have a dentist appt, then a eye appt, then to the doctors to get some paperwork filled out. HOPEFULLY

Monday, October 19


The thoughts and words are boiling over in my head, and the heat of the stove is making my skin too warm, or perhaps it's this ugly black fleece robe. One to which I've attached my hatred.
  But for now I shall pen a few thoughts, so my mind is clear and I can continue to stash stuff in boxes with no rhyme nor reason. I hate moving, I hate starting over. I hate change unless it's well thought out. How can one pack properly? Part of me says well you should drag everything out of every corner, and do not mix bedroom things with kitchen things, and my good sense kicks in and says, you aren't rich and don't want all your earthly possessions destroyed by the evil Canada Post workers who hate their jobs.

 I had one of those days at work where you think, I don't know why I hate my job so much.. I was surprised when 6:30 rolled around.
 I found out today that I have approximately 7 weeks left of illness claim and I can open a new claim after I hit BC until I find a new job.
 Oh Jobs.. I don't even want to think about that. I want to study and work and be everything to everybody.

Am I meandering yet? Think of this as a Friday Fragment or something like that :)

On the knitting front, I have started a baby's bonnet from the 1844's. It may turn into a gift for my bestie's little girl who is a month away, or my little birdy's doll. The sad news is I had to rip out the first 6 rows and start over again.
 Ohhh I hate failure. I finished my care package blanket. but there is a dropped stitched. Oh, that gives me an idea? Mel, can I send it to you unfinished? I promise to be sending you your long overdue candles with it.

I could kick myself for having so much yarn to pack up and ship, because of all the weeks I had off, I could've whipped it into something productive at least.

The weather here has been East Coastish.. Mean and Stormy, days that make so happy for Terrace/West coast weather. People who complain about the weather in Terrace ain't seen nothing. They need to spend a full year out here, and from what I've heard this year is going to be a killer one for snow and I am slightly sad to miss that.

 But there is not a snowball's chance in hell that I am going to miss the freezing temperatures.

I have been compiling a list of my favorite newfie sayings, because as soon as I get home I will forget'em all. Like I tinks so, and best kind b'y.

No proofreading done.

Saturday, October 17

What a change in weather overnight. Last night we had winds up to 96km, blowing rain/wet snow around. It was actually scary to walk home from work last night because of the wind blowing the trees around. I was having a hard time walking in a straight line, and was being blown backwards, and it was very difficult to walk. It sounded like airplanes taking off all through the night, but it was just the wind. 
 This morning dawn clear & sunny with some very cold wind. But not nearly as strong. I sure hope it's like this tomorrow morning when I have to catch a bus to the dentist in the morning. 
I am so tired of working 5 days in a row, this job is so mentally exhausting. 

Tuesday, October 6

Jewels of Music

This is a song that I listened to while meandering home, and it sums up my feelings right now

I shiver, shut the door
Can't think standing here no more
I'm alone, my mine's racing, heart breaking
Can you be everything I need you to be?
Can you protect me like a daughter?
Can you love me like a father?
Can you drink me like water?
Say I'm like the desert, just hotter.

The point of it all
Is that if I should fall
Still you're name I'll call

It's gonna be all right, no matter what they say
It's gonna be a good day, just wait and see
It's gonna be okay, cause I'm okay with me

As long as we laugh out loud
Laugh like we're mad
Cause this crazy, mixed up beauty is all that we have
Because what's love but an itch we can't scratch, a joke we can't catch
But still we laugh

This is a new song, which is speaks of the hope I had 2.5 years ago:

Honestly there is a story under it all. But where do I start?
I've always had a passion for acoustic girl music, and Jewel is my favorite. Miss Mouse introduced me to her, and I think I feel in love with the song I'm Sensitive, and the love affair has just grown from there. I have said that some of her first songs would make better poetry.

A lyric that grabbed my attention was from Kiss the flame, I loved this line

But wherefore art thou Romeo
where have all the brave men gone
Show me one man who know his own heart
To him I shall belong

 It really summed up what I was looking for in a man, and honestly it was really hard to find a guy who knows what he wants.

 I had met this man and then he had fled from my life, then one day while at work, said man opened up a convo on msn with something about my msn status which was "Show me one man who know his own heart, To him I shall belong" and how he knew what he wanted. I was already hook line and sinker but that sealed the deal. I think we started dating a short time after that.

Later he drove my car 16 hours so that when I flew in from Mexico, I could have options (go home, stay with him) He admitted to listening to the music stored in my deck and enjoying it, and wondering if they were secret messages for him.Wondering if I loved him (no word of a lie, although he may deny it now)
He is the romantic one. 

I think I could write a timeline of our relationship in Jewel songs, but I won't bore you.

So this brings me full circle back to the song at the top. I am going to be okay, I love him, and life just keep happening around me and I would rather get to my destination then be caught in a riptide. 

That Man? Is my Mr.Darcy

Monday, October 5

Major Crossroads

The song really describes my life right now. I've made my decision, and I now have peace about it. I know this is very elusive, but I am struggling with transparency and how much to share, to choose my words wisely to guard certain people. To make the wisest choice, to not air my dirty laundry as some would say.
How much detail is necessary for the world to know? Only what will help them. What in my situation will help you? The play by play or the his-story of it and glory of my Comforter in walking me through my valleys filled with shadows.

I've realized I am like a child who has too many new toys. I become quickly overwhelmed with my "dreams" list, "to-do" lists, and "every day" lists. So I don't do anything. Mr. Darcy made a very wise and valid point for me last night. I was worrying about where I should be serving, and what if I am in the wrong place, and I was getting all caught up in the rabbit trails of my worry. This is what always makes me distracted to the point where I end up doing nothing normally.

His perspective was "Which situation or where would you be more empowered to be a better person? Where you can become more or better, is where God can and will use you more, so focus on who you are or are becoming rather than WHERE you are."

I am so thankful for him.
Edit: thanks for the heads up Rudee (hopefully the video will work now)

Saturday, October 3

Tomato on toothpicks

Mr. J, Ms. M & I are in a competition to see who can lose the most weight in 30 days. So far I have gained 4 lbs. It's depressing. At this point I'm ready to weigh in only once a week. J & I went for a walk on Friday and decided to put a little wager on it, and on Monday M decided to join in, so we restarted as of the 14th of Sept.
It's great because it's making me want to work out, I've been running and doing yoga on the wii, and feeling thinner.

In other news Value Village had a 50% off sale, and I found two pairs a jeans and a cape. The first pair are high waist-ed and fit me like a charm, the second pair are skinny jeans, and would fit better if I lost 4 inches an inch or two.

I am thinking Little Miss Orange Riding hood for Halloween.
What do you think?

PS: Mr. Darcy & I are wearing the same pant's if that wasn't obvious already to you smart people!