Monday, August 31

Un-Surprise Birthday

Since my lovely sister was sick, she updated her face book photos of my little Birdy. But I realized maybe I should ask her permission before spamming Birdies photo all over the intranet. So until then I shall tide you over with a short story.

One night Mr. Darcy and I are walking home from work (that strange place I haven't had to see for 3 weeks) and I asked him to plan a party for me, because birthdays are a really big deal to me.  He agrees; and I go on to say how I would love to have a surprise party, but since I already asked him to plan something it can't be a surprise anymore. But I forgot one key factor here. This is THE Mr. Darcy we are talking about here. Probably the only person who can actually pull the wool over my eyes.

 Well that is when he is working with my family or alone. Apparently when announcing the plans for my "Surprise" Party he forgot to make the surprise party part clear to everyone. So needless to say, I was tormenting someone at work about missing my birthday, even though it landed on a Sunday and I didn't plan on or was scheduled to be a work. He did the wink wink nudge nudge thing, and I was totally lost. But then it hits me. I bet we are going bowling for my birthday.  So that night while I'm trying to drift off one of the things that pops into my head and whips out of my mouth before I can stop it is "Hunny, are you taking my bowling for my birthday?"  I get the response "Roll over and shaddup if you want cuddles" BINGO... I figured it out.  The next day a roommate asks me the a question about bowling and finds out that it's supposed to be a surprise. Clue 3: on Sunday one of the ladies asks me about bowling and gives me her idea of which night would be best, and I'm shocked and surprised, and mildly irritated at this point, so I replied "Talk to Mr. Darcy" Not realizing everyone was clueless about the surprise. Clue 4: I get text messages about my party, to which I only responded partially because I wasn't sure if I had text messaging on my phone, and by this point I don't want to hear another freaking thing about my birthday party. (Side note: during this whole time, I'm sick and grumpy)

Poor Mr.Darcy feels terrible that people didn't listen to him, and finally says well when you are feeling well enough we will do something. So I picked my actual birthday to be better on and we planned to go for lunch, and then mini golfing in the mall with black lights, and then wander the market that opens every Sunday evening after the mall closes.

Well we did the dinner on Saturday night, and I couldn't eat anything either day, the mini golfing was really difficult and I was just happy to not lose the small amount of food I ate. But the company was great, and then they all sang happy birthday in the movie consession area.
 I went home and enjoyed a 4 hour nap, and made everyone wait till Tuesday to sing happy birthday at home and eat lemon meringue pie, and even then I don't think I ate my piece until Thursday.

The only thing missing was the birthday candles... oh and the fact my whole family and best friends didn't call until a day late at least. Thank goodness for Face book wall :)

Ps No editing has been done to the grammar or sentence structure, and I should be sleeping right now. Instead I go to raid the kitchen. 

Sunday, August 23

Getting older

I might have had a birthday a week ago, but I've decided that I'm 25 this year. 
  The bad news is that I've been sick for three weeks, and I've finally started to feel better over the weekend. I've been off for two weeks, and I managed to burn my arm in the shape of number 10. I was mowing the front lawn and for some reason through my clouded judgement, I thought I could lift the lawnmower over a board. I heard my skin sizzle, and I put the lawn mower down really fast and went running into the house to find some ice.
  The medical system here is failing horribly. That is all I'm going to say for now.

My new roommate Ms. M.(the only other female in the house) and I have been really busy. We've painted, shopped for new curtains, and art. The landlord removed some items left behind last week, and also took the washer and dryer, sadly replacing them with a leaking set. Which meant we had to rip everything out of the laundry room. We then moved on to organizing everything in it, and in the computer lab. We then moved on to the disaster area we now call the Rec room. Where my computer is finally set up on a lovely little desk. Maybe tonight I will snap some photos.
  The men were amazed at how nice everything looks. Yes we are amazing. :)

This weekend we are getting blown around by Hurricane Bill and all his bluster, the eye of the storm is supposed to be passing over us today.

Next time I shall tell you the tale of a failed surprise party which Mr.Darcy tried to plan for me.

Friday, August 14


  • Some days I don't know what to write here, cause I want to be transparent, but I am to afraid to share my real issues. which is freaking sad, cause this mine and only mine. 
  • I will comment on your blog if you comment back. Yes it's selfish, but I hate the drama. I love reading certain blogs, and I love that some of you are so faithful to me. I want to be faithful back. 
  • I am messed up. Deal with it. Cause I have to every single freaking day of my adult/youth life.
  • I am turning 25, and if you have any issues with it. You can file them on the cross road of I DON'T CARE street and Take a long walk off a short plank dr. Thanks.
  • If you love someone you have to fight for them. I need you to fight along side of me. Not with me or against me.
  • How long should a person who calls a helpline have to wait?
  • So far I've been to the doctor's three times (4 if you count the 8 hours I waited and didn't see a doctor)  I've gotten a come back in a few days, and a hmm your back muscles are spasming let met give drugs, and a make another appointment for a lady test. Every are so fast with you, but slow to give you the referrals you need to get help. I HATE IT.

Monday, August 10

Yes I've eaten it before, on a trip in my grama's motorhome before it was custom painted with lots of interesting things Shangrali, protect it, bears and dogs.

This is the spam I get at gmail... gotta love it.

Do you feed cat?
Is boss in mood?
Your friend's friend writes.
Boss canceled workday
Let me warn you
Deadline approaches, so
Video: Crazy Night Races
I heard about you
Call me to work
Saw that news?
Say goodbye to bed flaccidity

Verbal Explosion

  • Hello Fashion Dictators/creators - I am not a one size fits all girl. Do you understand me? It's hard on the ego when my bottom is a size 11 gap jean size, and my top is a size 2 Ricki''s button down dress shirt. See when I look in the mirror, I see a nice round arse, and a Hmongo melon size tata's. So technically I should be a 12 on top and a 2 on the bottom. Right?? Or is the mirror lying to me? Stacey, Clinton, what's your opinion on this?
  • Always log your self out of things like Face book, or your wife might take you seriously, and get outta bed (so you can sleep) And play in your farm.. Until 5 am. "How you like them Apples?"
  • I figured out how to manipulate farm town so everyone profits, why do I feel like an evil genius?
  • I was thinking about writing a letter trying to explain my angry feelings. But I didn't want the receiver to be offended by it. But of course they might be, no matter how I started the letter. But then it dawned on me, what if I started every sentence with Oh Darling, and ended it with sentences like, That's how I like it, or Just like that, or Oh Baby, and then read the letter aloud, using a low breathy voice. Let's take a moment and imagine this. ....... All set.. Do you think you could get angry hearing that? Then I realized I would have to practice it and then record it so I could lip sync to it. Because seriously, could you make it through a letter like that with out busting up?
  • Some days my mind ends up in the gutter, mostly turning the strangest thoughts into funny/creepy pick up lines.. Like "How about you come home, and I trim your wick" Long story. Ask me sometime!
  • Internet Explorer 8 + Face book = Major Fail. Why? when I tried to type anything in my status or comments it would stay Grey, yes I trouble shoot Internet 24 hours a week. NO I don't care enough to figure out what is wrong. How I solved the problem? Download Google Chrome. I ¡²³¤€¼½¾‘ø¥øáé®þüñ©µµ¶¶´öüÚÍÖÓ¨°ØЧÁÆ¢¢ÑÇ¿çµñ©æßðø«öíúüþ®éåå䀤 Ahem HEART YOU Google. (where the frig is the heart symbol, someone plz enlighten me)
  • I am homesick... I start to tear up thinking about everyone at home enjoying the heatwave, camping, Riverboat days, Lost lake, QCI - Ed ge of the world Music festival, raspberries, huckleberries, dirt roads, skinny dipping, cliff jumping, bike riding, dirt bikes, hiking, oh yeah and the monkeys that live in the family
    zoo. I want to travel light speed home, and come back for work. :((
  • The island is similar to N.W. BC, but just not the same. A plus is where I live there are rarely any bugs, because it's way to windy for them to bother. Plus there isn't much fresh water that sits still to spawn the larvae. But the smell that came off the creek was so reminiscent of clay mud/the frog pond I gagged every time I had to go outside of work. Oh the memories of tadpole fishing.
  • Uh oh Mr. J's alarm just went off. That means its 5:30. Fri-ck. I was supposed to sleep. only 10.5 hours left until I am back at work for 8.
  • I will have to do a post soon about all the new colorful characters in my life storybook. (new roomies, and pets)
  • Hi Elle!
  • Work is "interesting", code for an emotional train ride that is going to go over a non existent train trestle every other freaking day week or so. Don't ask. I probably shouldn't blog about it. Might get fired. (since we've been threatened by previous people in regards to my blogging, I try and avoid talking about the over sensitive people in my life, until they grow thicker skin.)
  • If you grew up here, why would you leave?
  • It's the oddest feeling to see a best friend's (that you've known since your birth) grandpa on FB. You know the people that you think are old when you are 10ish....

'May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.'

Tuesday, August 4

I hate you, Norton

Dear Norton Software,
I now remember why I had to remove myself from our relationship.

With a quick slip last week, I was drawn back to your charisma. Your charms of being my protector and security have drawn me in again and sadly I am left feeling drained.
Last time I lost whole year of my life, letting you hog my processor & r.a.m, to the point I had to stop listening to my tunes because you were always in the background causing them to cut in and out. When this realization dawned me that it was you, using all my resources the bloom of new love started to fade.
But, oh how exciting it was to be able to surf sites that has hidden dangers, feeling cozy and safe wrapped up in your anti-virus arms.
Now when I hear the words Ï have Norton Anti Virus in combination with "why can't I surf wirelessly on my new vista laptop" I cringe and then start to explain that you are a jealous lover. You won't let them out to play in on the intraweb with other computers, you might meet Mcafee or Heaven Forbid that free and easy ÄVG. With no monthly fees, and a prettier look.

Two days ago sitting in my inbox was a curt little note, warning me that our relationship was about to expiry. You put it simply enough, I would have buy something prettyandexpensive to keep you are around my place.
Then Today I recieved this fateful letter.
Dear Darci,

I am sorry I can no longer give you milk for free, it's time to buy this cow or start mooching at someone else's dairy.

Regretfully Yours

(Norton Antivirus's Evil creator)

P.S. If 30 days isn't enough to prove that you want me, wait until day 31.5. (then you will WISH you were protected)

Well that crushed my final pixels of adoration for you and all your services.

Good Riddance,
A unprotected free and easy hippie.

Note: at the time of writing this the author's computer is no longer "protected" but hasn't been booted up for 3 weeks. You don't need to stay safe if you aren't playing with infected waters. This is the first draft, any other experinces that I can incorporate into it? I would love to hear about them!

Sunday, August 2

Waste is waste

I sit here clicking accept, yes repeatedly and the thought hits me. If my time is worth money, and I am sitting here "wasting" it by playing farmtown/farmville any other mindless facebook application I might as well be throwing money out the window. These "things" I am using my time money on, might as well be an addiction. I can understand how some people men enjoy shooter games, because it allows them some twisted sense of accomplishment and DE-stresses them.
  But I can't knit or accomplish anything playing games on the computer. In my opinion it's just as bad as smoking, drinking, overeating and anything else that hurts your body.
   On this note I'm off to watch tv, or download a knitting pattern.
Ps the watch tv part is so I can finish my blanket for the care packages, Mel!!