Tuesday, August 4

I hate you, Norton

Dear Norton Software,
I now remember why I had to remove myself from our relationship.

With a quick slip last week, I was drawn back to your charisma. Your charms of being my protector and security have drawn me in again and sadly I am left feeling drained.
Last time I lost whole year of my life, letting you hog my processor & r.a.m, to the point I had to stop listening to my tunes because you were always in the background causing them to cut in and out. When this realization dawned me that it was you, using all my resources the bloom of new love started to fade.
But, oh how exciting it was to be able to surf sites that has hidden dangers, feeling cozy and safe wrapped up in your anti-virus arms.
Now when I hear the words Ï have Norton Anti Virus in combination with "why can't I surf wirelessly on my new vista laptop" I cringe and then start to explain that you are a jealous lover. You won't let them out to play in on the intraweb with other computers, you might meet Mcafee or Heaven Forbid that free and easy ÄVG. With no monthly fees, and a prettier look.

Two days ago sitting in my inbox was a curt little note, warning me that our relationship was about to expiry. You put it simply enough, I would have buy something prettyandexpensive to keep you are around my place.
Then Today I recieved this fateful letter.
Dear Darci,

I am sorry I can no longer give you milk for free, it's time to buy this cow or start mooching at someone else's dairy.

Regretfully Yours

(Norton Antivirus's Evil creator)

P.S. If 30 days isn't enough to prove that you want me, wait until day 31.5. (then you will WISH you were protected)

Well that crushed my final pixels of adoration for you and all your services.

Good Riddance,
A unprotected free and easy hippie.

Note: at the time of writing this the author's computer is no longer "protected" but hasn't been booted up for 3 weeks. You don't need to stay safe if you aren't playing with infected waters. This is the first draft, any other experinces that I can incorporate into it? I would love to hear about them!

1 comment:

Rudee said...

Absolutely brilliant. Gosh how I don't miss that cheating brat.