Safe n sound

Best laid plans of men and mice, oft go awry.

I had a plan all worked out for going home for Christmas. But through a series of events. I ended up agreeing to stay here and let my sister drive  up.
But of course she wants to spend time with the bf. So I decided to spend time in Dawson catching up with dear friends.
Tomorrow has many possibilities.
Being impulsive can be fun, more fun then doing what you should. (that is another blog post for later)
Merry Christmas.

Jackie Evancho - I'll Be Home For Christmas

This goes out to my family, who I tried to get home to see. But the circumstances didn't work out. So in my dreams.

The one where my car and I have adventures.

 The other night, while listening to the radio, the announcer Dave said they would play some music they haven't played in a while. My thoughts were " Finally" Because the song Red Solo Cup had played one too many times for my liking. So I text-ed the radio station to say thank you (not while I was driving of course) Then I received a text back, which made me smile. A few minutes later I had another delivery, so I hopped in the car just in time to hear Dave mention a text they received from a listener named Darci. I was shocked. Needless to say it made my night. It's the little things in life.

 A few nights later, I delivered a pizza to some guys playing poker and was invited into help eat the pizza and play. I declined "Saying that I would love to stay and play but that my boss wouldn't be happy about me quitting four hours earlier" A few hours later I had a delivery way out in the middle of nowhere, and I'm hunting for the address. I went up a steep winding driveway and realized it wasn't the house I was looking for. Instead of doing the smart thing, which would have been continue up the driveway and turn around, I proceeded to back down the driveway right into a ditch. For some reason I thought I needed to go left, when in reality if I would have kept the wheel straight for another few meters I would've been fine. In the end some friends pulled my car back on to the driveway. Thankfully there was no damage but because of the culvert behind my tires I couldn't go forward, and with the little bit of snow and incline I couldn't drive forward either. I felt just a little bit dumb. 

 But not nearly as dumb as when I left my car running and in neutral (I'm afraid the E brake will stick again if I use it) I tested it for at least 30 seconds and thought it was fine. 

 So there I am standing in the lobby of an apartment building, playing with my phone waiting for the guy to come down and get his pizza and I hear the sound of snow crunching under car tires. I glance up to see my car slowly rolling towards the telephone pole. I put the pizza down and literally threw myself out the door, down the steps. Somehow I managed to get my car door open, and my foot on the brake.  After taking a deep breath or two, I put it in first, started it up and drove back up to were I was originally parked. 

 About this time the customer comes into the lobby and saw the pizza (in it's warmer sitting on the floor) and me walking back up the stairs. He gives me a funny look, so I explained what happened and why I was a wee bit shaky. After reassuring him that I was fine, I left.  

 Later I looked at my bumper and it was also fine. I was about 6 inches away from a dented bumper, which would go nicely with the hole I put there a few years ago. 

Two blonde moments in a week is about my limit. I don't think I can handle the stress of any more.

silver streaks

Brushed out up-do!

Why do the 5 silver hairs I've found on my scalp mortify me? They make me want to color my hair. But I like my natural color. I am trying to embrace them. But they are very noticeable to me. I see them every time I am pulling my hair back in the mirror.

I like my hair in general when I take the time to do it. But I'm hitting that point again, where I want to do something funky.
 The last time this happened I ended up with dreads, which only lasted for 3 months, because I found they were too much work, and I wanted to find employment and was afraid of the first impression I would make. Which is silly now looking in retrospect because I didn't get a job until May 2011 which was cooking at camp and then I would've fit right in this year! (two girls had dreads put in at camp but ended taking them out after about 6 weeks-12 weeks)

 Although, if I had dreads I would've never been able to do this with my hair :

Any suggestions on what I should try next? I'm tempted to do a wacky hair color, or go short and sassy again. 

Right now I wear my hair pulled back most of the time, because I have to wear a dorky visor at work and it's more food safe.


Are you my facebook friend? Then you have seen these photos. Otherwise check'em out.

Eerie trees

Eerie trees

Eerie trees
Originally uploaded by jadekitty

This was also taken at the sunrise, but in B&W it looks haunting and eerie. (well at least it does to me)

Eternal student

I used to agree with Mr. Darcy that people who never quit going to school and changing majors and accumulating students loans are stupid people.

 BUT now I only agree with the amount of debt accumulated.  I really, really, really want to go back to school and since I haven't narrowed my choices down, I am self educating by reading books right now and trying to get into a better financial place. I hate having debt, especially since the only thing I have to show for it is life experience, and travel. I was raised smarter then that. But I made dumb choices.

 Now I'm trying to make wise choices. One of them I made today was making sure to deposit all my cash into the bank, so I can't blow it at 7-11 on bad tasting Pumpkin spice lattes and M&M's. (because honestly other then food, I don't do any shopping in Chetty)

 The second wise choice is to keep reading finance books and blogs like The Simple Dollar. I am almost finished "The five lesson a millionaire taught me for woman" by Richard Paul Evans.

It's easy to understand and only has five principles to apply and doesn't talk about BUDGETING. This has become almost a swear for me. I hate trying to figure out approx how much money I am going to make, and because I didn't have a local bank here for 6 months. Cash wasn't available to put into jars. So I'm going to give up on budgeting for a while and just track my expenditures and go from there to figure out how much I can cut back on my needless spending.

My job is bringing in decent money right now, but I'm thinking I would like to work a few more hours, so I may work at the Subway next door, or apply at one of the other places in town . I figure once I've made the 25 km drive I might as well work as many hours as I can. Because right now my free time is spent watching TV, wasting time on FB, knitting, reading or sleeping.

I really miss having family and close friends around a lot. To the point where it's no longer boredom that I'm suffering from but loneliness.

Which isn't a lot of fun, but I keep repeating to myself "This is only temporary, and for a time, and this too shall pass" Which helps me keep my living in the middle of nowhere in perspective.  Some days I win, other days I don't.

In the local chiropractor's office they have this poster, and it really encouraged me.
"Some trees grow very tall and straight and large in the forest, close to each other. But some must stand by themselves or they won't grow at all".

photo credit 1
phtoto credit2

Sunrise.at.Moberly.lake

gratuity

Growing up my dad always left a tip and told me the word meant to "To Insure Prompt Service", but after reading the wiki page on Tips, I stand corrected.
 With my new job, I get tips. They can range from alright to really good. (although really good normally happens when there is an error)
 My highest tip so far is 21.00 on one order. Which was during a crazy busy night, and two gentlemen were arguing over who got the honor of paying the bill. So I solved it by splitting the bill for them, (which was about about $72 each) and they each gave me a tip. My second highest tip was my first night and I learned that wearing my dress coat and smelling good gets $15 tips.
 When the weather is nasty outside the tips tend to be higher, and possibly when I'm not wearing my glasses. (I am still experminting with this theory)
 When I am driving my own car I get paid per delivery also, so when I don't get a tip from the customer, my fuel is still covered.

This is an interesting read on tipping.
I'm writing this post mostly for feedback.

• Do you tip?
• What and why do you tip?
• When wouldn't you tip?

Thanks for reading!

Selling Stuff?

 I am debating the idea of an Etsy shop with myself. So I figured I would throw the idea out there for y'all to give me feedback on.

I've started reading the Quick-Start Guide, and by the time I finish every post on there, I should be able to teach it  have a profitable shop.

I've already decided that 10% of my profits would be donated to some charity as a way of tithing. Possibly sponsoring a child, or something along those lines.

The items I would sell, would be an item I can knit or crochet. I need, need, need to use up some of my yarn stash, so I can buy more!
Right now my favorite thing to make is finger-less gloves, socks, animal toys, dish cloths. I am trying to expand my abilities, and learn how to do cables, and how to use my knitting machine. My dream is to make a sweater, a shawl, a blanket and some cute toque, glove, scarf matching sets.
 Maybe some day, I will even feature a quilt or two. If I ever get started :) I'm afraid to start, because it's an expensive addiction, and not one that is very transportable.  On that note, last night a gentleman came into the store while I was on break, I was writing a letter, but I had a quilting magazine open in front of me, and he struck up a conversation with me. He told me his wife just passed away, and he has so much fabric, an expensive sewing machine and piles of magazines. He also compared it to a addiction, to which I replied at least it's a some what healthy one? At the end of the conversation he had offered to drop off some magazines for me! It was a very cool experience. But I couldn't help but grieve for him, to have lost his life partner a week earlier, although I  have no idea the background on their relationship.

Must be getting myself ready for work. Till next time,
Thanks for reading and commenting!

Adjusting

  This is the first time I've lived all  by myself in my whole life. (I did have my own "place for a month or two when I was 18, but my aunt lived in the next building) It is so strange. I am not lonely yet. But I find myself feeling bored. Which is akin to a swear in our family. You never utter it, because if you did, Mom always found work for you to do. So even to admit that I'm bored when I am not working feels strange.

  I find I am filling my time with catching up on TV shows and knitting, chatting, wasting time on facebook games, reading and thinking about baking & quilting.

  I hate moving to a new place, because it feels like I just get all my baking supplies amassed and then I am moving and giving them away, or trying to use them up quickly. Lately I've been craving cookies, biscuits, cake, pie.. All the things I'm trying to avoid.   



Newie Poutine.



 Which leads me to realize that I'm eating out of boredom and or self medicating with food. I recently read a book called Women, Food & God. *link is fixed, Thanks Ben!  It was very thought provoking and I don't agree with her ideas about God.
 It made me realized that I have a hard time sitting down and eating. I eat in the car, or while I at the computer, while I watch a show, or standing by the counter. I feel the need to be in a constant state of movement. So I am very slowly trying to break that habit so that I can stop eating when I am full, because right now I am compeletly missing the signals. The end result of that is weighing 147 lb at last weigh in. Which to me is really heavy, because I'm used to being somewhere around 127-135 and I'm tried of hearing but you look great. When I know that my chest and stomach are covered in more layers of fat then nesscessary. Part of my issues stem from not having the will power to work out, mostly because my emotional state is numb and I enjoy food and why can't I indulge in the one thiing that I lovee that won't leave me.

  After camp was done (end of August) and everyone went home, Loren was still there with me. It was so lovely to have a roomie. We entertained one another, took trips into Chetty to visit the library and spend hours playing wheel of fortune together. I even had the motivation to cook, because I knew someone else would enjoy it. To be honest I HATE cooking, it feels like work. Although this summer when I was cooking as Head Cook and it was my job, I enjoyed it :P 

  I have this attitude about things that aren't work but feel like work to me. I avoid them like the plague. Thus the reason I shut my blog down for the summer. I enjoy writing but I didn't want the self inflicted preesure of having to post at least once a week. Now it no longer feels like work, but a way of communicating with all my long distances friends.

 So on that note I'm off to work out at the gym!

Thanks for reading.

Hello out there!
In the past nine months, I've moved to Northern BC. Worked at two different jobs, and dealt with a lot of stress. Traveled over 3,000 kms, and spent a lot of time debating where I am moving to next, and if I was even moving. So for now, I'm living at Camp Sagitawa. Working a few hours a week for the camp and delivering pizza in Chetwynd.

And this is my 397th post. But only my second post for 2011 :)

3 Year Mark

I wrote this three years ago. Sadly it hold true again today.
 I'm in BC and he's on a bus to the East Coast with an offer of a job. Do I know what the future holds? No, but I love him dearly, and hurts like hell to have the other half of my heart so far away.

So Broken..

Watching the pieces of my heart fall to

the floor and smash into little shards.

Why did you? Why did I?

Shocked, frozen, melting down.

Numbness spreading. Anger trying to take over.

Realizing nope.

That's only hurt. Not burying it.. Let it happen.

Must Grow, or wilt.

Not going backwards this time or ever again.

Fighting for what I want.

Believing my God is bigger then my fears.

Plan B?

Whoops out the window.

Wasn't right anyways.

Hanging by the threads called family.

I will Survive.

But I want you by my side.

Now and forever.

Please return my love to me.

Safe and sound in your perfect timing.