and then it was August

Hey long lost blog!
 Four and half months later, I finally get around to pounding out a post.
 Sorry about that. Life got in the way.. I got a part time job, and then another job, which was supposed to be full time, and I was supposed to quit the part time, but I decided on a whim to apply at my favorite boutique in town and landed myself a second part time job so I quit the full time job.
Still following?
 Right now I'm a part-time portrait photographer and a part time sales girl of lovely undergarments and clothing! I'm very happy with both jobs, the supposed to be full time job was sewing and alterations and for many reasons the job wasn't a good fit.
  This summer has been full of camping and exploring and sunshine.

Exstew River

Main Exstew Waterfall

Telkwa Pass

In other big news, I am waiting for the finalization of the divorce papers. I agreed in January and the ball is rolling albeit very, very slowly.  Part of the reason I haven't blogged is I wasn't sure if I was ready to post about the final demise of my relationship with Mr.Darcy, at this point we are still friends, but have agreed that the relationship isn't going to be repaired. It took me a really long time to come to peace with this fact, and I have done a lot of growing in the past 9 months.

Busy as a bee

It always happens for me, when I have bloggy fodder I am much to busy to write about it down.
I am going to try and schedule myself thirty minutes at least three times a week. No promises you will actually see what I write though :)
  In the last three weeks I have driven to Castlegar, BC and back home, Moberly Lake and home again. Which is total of at least 50+ hours of sitting in a car.
 So the past few days have been very relaxed and chill.
 I have yet to be hired for a "real" job but I have decided on doing some bookkeeping like work for two different companies. Which I plan to actually start applying myself to on Monday.

I'm about to go drop off another resume and apply online for a couple of part time jobs, and then cross my fingers.

Today I went to a dentist appointment at 9am and then realized that I had canceled the appointment thinking I would still be out of town. But had forgotten to remove it from my calendar, thankfully they were able to squeeze me in at noon, so I am now enjoying clean, shiny teeth.


How has everyone's first 2 weeks of March been treating them?

Any big plans for St.Paddy's Day?

No need for wanted posters

You know it's a small town when:
You see checking out a book a the library and the librarian says " I thought you looked like a Brousseau" and you also find out the movie you checked out for the Littles is over due, so the kind librarian renews it for you.
Then you as you hop down the steps (something you realize as typing this sounds undignified, but it's a tradition from childhood.) You look up to find your dad has just driven up to drop off said over due movie.
At this moment you start to feel that the family may be stalking you :-)

the games we play

Nothing new to post on the job front yet, mostly because I haven't dropped off anymore resumes or heard back from the jobs I wanted.
I realized that I don't do well not having a job, I need the schedule to order my life around.
yesterday my dad and I fixed my car, which is a huge relief to me, because the rear shock/strut was banging around sometime terribly. Now I just need to get the muffler replaced so that it doesn't sound like a racecar.
I am debating starting a feature called My blonde moment of  the day.
I have two for you today.
The first was when I setup my computer, I had my screen rotated portrait rather then landscape (all the words were still landscape) and an error came up, something along the lines of cmos error. So I was frusterated thinking that I had wrecked one of my hard drives in the move home. So I decided to do a little research after about fifteen minutes, I went and looked at  the scren again. As I started to rotate it, I realized it said Press f1 to start normally. Yeah, I felt just a little dumb.
Second brilliant moment:
Helping my sister with her horses, we moved the water trough which just happpens to be a bathtub. We got it flattened out (the warm water melts the snow underneath causing it to tilt) and we both stood on an edge and tried to make it sink into the snow little, well I decided to move one foot to the front of the tube, which didnt go as planned because that foot went right into the tub (which of course has water in it) and then I proceeded to fall off backwards into the snow wacking my leg really good in the process. It didn't hurt at the time, but I felt really silly, lying like a turtle on my back. Once Meleah stopped laughing at me she helped me up.
I shall leave you with a few photos from the past while.

Hunting

*Blog rant ahead*

Another fear I've been working through is the fear of rejection.

I hate hate hate job hunting, mostly the work of dropping off resumes and/or submitting them online and never hearing anything back. I am slightly old fashioned in my thinking that at least if I drop the resume off,  I can talk with someone or find out who I should make contact with later. This whole online application thing really bothers me because I've had no luck at all.
 Last year while living in Vancouver I felt like I filled out application after application and months I received an email from a call center saying I should watch a video and if I was suited for the job, I should go to the interviews they were holding on such and such date. But at this point I was gainfully employed at Camp S.and about a thousand km away.

My experience in Chetty was good, I got a job on the spot. But that could have something to do with the lack of people in the area ;0)

For the past three weeks, I've just hid my head in the ground and enjoyed doing "nothing" work wise. But there are bills to be paid, and I didn't save enough to keep being unemployed. I don't know if I qualify for EI.(I also don't want to bother applying and waiting almost two months to find out if I get money or not)

So for now I am employed by Mikes Roofing as my dad's secretary/bill paying/office organizing person.  Which is awesome, but also stress inducing because there is stuff to do, but it's like being self employed and I would rather have someone hand me a to-do list with the hours that are expected of me.

I've applied at a couple of places around town and am hoping to get a few part time jobs, because I haven't quite figured out what I want to do over the summer yet.

Today while trying to figure out what to wear I was feeling frustrated because no one else was home to give me some fashion advice, but then Meleah and my parents came home! I ended up with an interesting outfit, and may even post a photo(if i get one I like). Update: I have photos, but they all need cropping and red eye reduction, plus I look like a box. Maybe next time I will the photos before I leave the house. At least I felt pretty, even if I looked thick.
I feel like I stand out a bit walking around town, but it's better then Chetty. I always felt out of place there when I dressed nice.

I went to order some flowers for a friend and I decided to not to my normal place (gut feeling). So I went in and there was a friend who I hadn't seen in ages. She was now working there, it was so lovely to catch up with. It felt like a divine appointment set up just to make me smile and lift me out of my horrible mood.

In your experience what is the best way to land a job? Or apply for jobs?

Thanks for reading!

Transitions

Whoops.. I took a little unintended blogging break.  It always happens that when I am trying to keep things under wraps I run out of bloggy fodder.
  Since January 4th I have: quit the pizza delivery job, packed up my belongings, moved back to Terrace, moved into my brothers suite, packed up his belongings (haven't quite got them moved into the attic yet) Unpacked and sorted through my mountains of clothes, played mom for two weeks, shoveled way too much snow, procrastinated finding a job, decided to move on with my life and grant Mr. Darcy a divorce, won and lost at Monopoly, Crib, Trivial Pursuit, Crazy Eight Countdown and Scrabble.

That about sums up my life for the past 26 days. So now that you are all caught up, how has life been for you?

I am going to attempt to comment more on blogs, but our internet connection is finicky at best. So for now I'm sitting at the library.

fessing up about food n fears.

 I bought a gym pass a few weeks ago, and have been working out regularly.
   It feels great, and the gym here in Chetty is lovely and huge. Plus I have been going in the sauna and then treading water for a few minutes to cool off and then finishing it all with a soak in the hot tub. Between that and cutting way back on how much food I'm consuming when I'm not hungry, I've managed to lose 8 lbs!!! Needless to say I'm very excited. I couldn't believe it when I stepped on the scale and I wasn't in the 140-150 range. 

 It's been an interesting journey. Making myself stop and think before chowing down on whatever was at hand when I became frustrated/irritated/bored/stressed.
Also going into the pool and having to wear a bathing suit has helped changed my perspective on my body. For some reason I see myself as heavy. Not fat, but heavier then I want to be. But lately I've realized this is skewed. I may not be thin when I compare myself to my younger sisters, but I need to realized that my curves don't make me fat. That being said I did take my measurements recently, which was slightly depressing, because I was hoping for smaller numbers. But I am trying to take into account, that I haven't been taking proper care of my body, and it took time to get where I am, and it will take time to arrive at my goal.

While finishing my workout in the pool recently, I was digging deeper into my thoughts. I realized I am afraid of a few things. Normally I would tell you that I'm not afraid of anything. End of discussion. Which is true in the physical sense. I don't fear bad guys, wild animals, walking in the dark. or even death. But I do fear emotional things. 

• Like making the wrong choice
• Letting people down (Boss, parents, people in authority over me)
• Losing my parents and siblings
• That people may not like me, if they really knew me. (this one stems from suffering rejection and believing the lies I've been told about myself) 

It was very freeing to admit this to myself. That they don't have to rule my life, because some of them are things I can't control and some are things I'm going to do either way and I can't live second guessing myself constantly.

I promise a real post soon.

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Alberta. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,"Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?" "Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious? "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?" "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you do have all the equipment." MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.