Monday, January 7

Sadness (more ranting and raving)

if you don't want to hear the realness
and complaining of one overtired head.

So the new year has started with the news of my one of my dad's brothers passing away. If everyone could keep my dad and his family in their prayers, not a lot of the extended family has Christian beliefs, but I pray God can send people to comfort my Aunt and Cousins..
He had lived a good life and was snowmobiling when it happened, my mom made the comment he probably would have said something like "Well might as well go doing something I love"

Everything time I think about, I just burst into tears. My Empathy button is working over time right now. I'm working on my second sleepless-ness night in a row. But I find that I am so much more attuned to God's voice when I am tired.

Oh bother, I think my keyboard pounding disturbed my Husband.
Alright, well he hasn't gotten up yet, that's a good sign. Sometimes I feel so mean because I toss and turn in bed and then get up and be noisy on the computer (watching you tube with no headset) or typing.. We only have 2 connected rooms so I have no where to escape too. Well I could go downstairs but then I would wake up my parents probably. (We live in a connected apartment)

Moving on.
(PS I feel like I've moved on to the raving part of ranting and raving)

I am sorry for everyone who reads this blog and thinks.
  • She has no life
  • She is such a complaining baby
  • Why cant she be more cheery like all her friends blogs.
But You know what I've realized. This is my BLOG!!!!
Oh yeah and I need to write to blow off steam, so I'm trying to not spill my e-guts everywhere. But I've come to the point, when I have to say what I am thinking and not care what anyone thinks accept my Saviour.

I think I want Talk Therapy.
Click on the link for the explanation I found.

After chatting with a dear friend and reading through postsecret forums, I have been to the other side of emotion, and now have a headache.
I was so thankful for a friend who couldn't sleep too, because she helped list all things I want to discuss with my boss at work tomorrow. The important things that I shouldn't just suck up and accept.

  1. I want a raise if I deserve it
  2. I need more challenging tasks to b/c I am getting bored and wasting my precious time sitting at work. When I feel like if I worked 4-6 hours a day I would be more productive, and I'm used to a totally diff work environ. Either give it your all, or go home :)
  3. I would rather trade jobs with the car wash girl who gets .50 cents less, and we've discussed and she's happy with the trade. (would that be crazy to ask?)
  4. I really would like to be a salesperson... at least I would like to try.
  5. I WANT Mondays off (when I took the job I thought I that was for sure thing)
  6. Oh yeah, and we are hoping to move!! so either way you might need to look for someone else before the years up.
So what do y'all think?
PS if you know my boss, please don't direct him to this post. I would rather tell him in person because that's only fair for both of us. Oh and I'm not editing this post tonight. But I might after I have some sleep..


Tamara said...

Darci! Darci, Darci!

A few things before anything else..You don't have to apologize for anything you write on your blog. Good, bad, sad, anything! Really, if people don't like reading anything but cheery, they can go elsewhere. We all have days/weeks/even months like this and I'm almost positive it's better to get it out somewhere rather than lock yourself in your room and cry (which is something I do..I should blog more about my issues lol really though.)

I hope everything went well at work. I know how hard it can be to ask for things you deserve, or even suggest change..let me know how it went :) I hope you're feeling better today! Love ya loads!

Gwen said...

I went to the post secret link in your newest post, and here are the thoughts that the site reinforced for me:

1. We are all the same. Not one of us has unique problems. Maybe the details are different here and there, but essentially, people all over the world struggle with the same things, worry about the same issues, and we all feel that no one else cares or understands.

2. Secrecy makes things worse. I've had issues in my life that I just felt "IF I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS, I COULD GET THIS THING FIXED!" But we all try to keep ourselves behind masks, so that everybody thinks we're all hunky dorey. There's a reason that James says, "Confess your faults one to another, and pray for each other, and you'll be healed." Perhaps you might need to find a trustworthy friend to talk to. Believe it or not.... most married people have gone through terrible times, even times where we think we've made a horrible mistake and the only way out of this mess is just to get divorced and start again with someone else. I have thought before, "I know God says He can take this crappy situation and make it all wonderful... but I don't want it to be wonderful. I don't even WANT to save my marriage any more." But God HAS done miracles in my life, and here we are today, still married, and wanting to stay together. Maybe if you could discuss your problems with a friend, you could figure out constructive ways to heal.

3. I think you'd be surprised at how many people care about you, and how little we mind hearing your online rants. There's no point putting on a huge grin and posting silly happy things when inside you feel like crying, or dying, or giving up on everything. Don't put that burden on yourself. If you feel upset, don't deny it. We can take it. ;) And if we don't like what we're reading... then, hello... we should just stop reading and go somewhere else in this great big cyberworld and quit being so judgemental.

I've been praying for you a lot lately.... don't give up. You're loved and valued, and there is a solution for EVERY problem.

Here's an {{{e-hug}}} for you.